I discuss the parsha with Rabbi Rabbs Monday at 7pm PST on my live cam.
Parashat Vayeshev (Genesis 37-40):
* Why no condemnation in the text of the sexual behavior of Judah and Tamar?
* Can you believe that our holy ancestor Judah had sex with Tamar without even asking her for her name? (Gen. 38:20) How shocking is that? How meaningful can sex be when you don’t even know the name of the person you’re porking? How could Jacob do this cosmically significant act and not know who it was with? How could such meaningless sex be truly fulfilling and pleasurable? He must’ve slept with her and never looked at her face. So where was he looking?
* Do you think more men would come to shul if there were cult prostitutes you could use before kiddish? Did Judaism miss the boat on cultic prostitution?
* Why did Judah want Tamar burned to death? (Gen. 38:25) Is this primitive Old Testament morality? He had just slept with a hooker and now he wanted to burn to death a prostitute.
* Why do religious Jews name their daughters after Tamar when she was a whore? Why does the Messiah come from a ho?
* Gen. 38:23 Judah, a little too late, afraid of becoming a laughing stock. Why have virtually all societies frowned on prostitutes? It’s like Judah was afraid of being put on Facebook for being a john. Do you prefer the term “john” or “hobbyist“?
* There’s so much deception in Genesis. It reminds me of all the white collar crime today. Smart people deceive. Dumb people are more likely to use force.
* Potiphar’s wife is a slave to her lust for her hubby’s slave. How much more happy the person who can control his desires!
* Was Potiphar’s wife hot? Because if she wasn’t, then it was no big deal for Joseph to turn her down. Maybe Joseph wasn’t into MILFs? Maybe a barely legal girl would’ve been more trouble for him? Which type is more trouble for you, holy rabbi? Youth is a fatal attraction for me.
* Did Potiphar’s wife get special access to Joseph while he was held as a prisoner in Potiphar’s prison?
* Sexual promiscuity is a basic feature of all slave societies. The slave can’t say no.
* Potiphar’s wife does not respond to his cogent arguments but tries to wear him down. The erect ***** has no conscience.
* When Potiphar’s wife asks him to lie beside her, was that an innocent request? I’ve had women ask me that and sometimes it was very innocent. This Japanese woman I met on a music video shoot. Did they really just want to lie beside me or did they truly want to feel full? Sometimes women don’t say what they mean. They may say, “Let’s lie down together like brother and sister” but they really mean, “Turn me inside out.”
* Perhaps the wife would’ve been more successful with Joseph if she had warmed him up a little bit with questions about God and righteousness and the patriarchs before she flat out asked him for sex. She could’ve said she wanted to follow his God, could he take some time out of his busy schedule to instruct her privately in Torah including the laws of family purity and all that jazz. A lot of rabbis have fallen for similar patter. Even I have proven weak on one or two occasions, luckily God and the police intervened before I could commit a sin.
* Women such as Potiphar’s wife seem to have a particular skill at making false accusations of rape. Please discuss.
* How does the Pharoah talk about God when Pharoah is supposedly divine?
* How much of your life have you spent in spiritual bliss? Are you not satisfied with your reward in the World to Come? Do you expect also to live at ease in this world?
* I wish I could live like the patriarchs and have maid servants and concubines.
* Rabbi Rabbs writes: “I’m just happy to hear Congressman West be so supportive, and if he cites Christianity to protect my fellow Jews who insist on living in that Atheistic country established by Bolsheviks — in many ways the eye sore of the Middle East with its wanton desecration of G-d’s Laws right on top of the Holy Land…”
Perhaps the rabbi could name a land where there is more goodness per square mile than Israel? How would he measure this?
* The pope permits condom use in some instances. Is this good for the Jews? I really like this pope. He’s a fighter.
* On Dec. 3, the Los Angeles Temptation host the Dallas Desire in the Lingerie Football League. Dallas is 0-2. They just can’t get their passing game going. Their quarterback is just 7-30 for 84 yards on the year. LA is 1-0. Who can forget their thrilling 36-32 victory over the Seattle Mist?
As our viewers know, nobody is a bigger supporter of women’s sports than me.
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