Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Parents Owe Kids Explanations

Luke Ford says:

From Dennis Prager’s eleventh lecture on Deuteronomy (2003):

Dennis: “When people say ‘Jews’, nobody yawns.”

Deut: 6:20: “If your child asks you tomorrow, saying, ‘What are the testimonies and the decrees and the ordinances that HaShem, our God, commanded you?”

Asking questions is a Jewish mentality. “At yeshiva we were taught to ask questions. Often the rabbis didn’t have answers. I have friends who grew up in other faiths and they were not encouraged to ask questions.”

“Moses is instructing every Jewish generation that will ever live how to answer your child – how come we keep kosher? How come we keep Shabbos? Because God took us out of Egypt.”

Reading aloud different translations of the Torah, Dennis says: “The Jewish commentators don’t like the word ‘fear’. The Orthodox can live with it. The non-Orthodox don’t like it. The Christians are OK with it. But the Hebrew word is ‘fear.’ It doesn’t mean scared. If God created the world and judges everything, He is worth fearing.”

“It’s OK for children to ask questions. The Torah assumes your child will ask you questions. Notice it doesn’t say, keep quiet and do them. This sets a tone. Parents, you owe your children explanations. So many parents think you just tell your kids to do it. It says to give a reason.”

“Judaism forgot to give rational answers over thousands of years. When people do something over and over, it becomes tradition. The Hebrew word for tradition, ‘minhag’ spelled backwards is ‘Gahnim’ (hell).”



Governed By Reason Or Emotion?

Luke Ford says:

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager says he can’t think of any circumstance where he’d be governed by his emotions.

If Dennis Prager says it, it must be true! I wanna be like Dennis Prager. He’s my hero.

Crissy posts: “As opposed to being governed by what? Oh and how realistic is it not to ever be governed by emotions?”

I’m a very strong man Crissy. I am governed by my values, my discipline, my mind, my fears, grrrr… I’m in psycho-therapy, hope to sort this out… i am often governed by my feelings and not realizing it.



Taking A Woman Captive

Luke Ford says:




In his 12th lecture on Deuteronomy (2003), Dennis Prager says on the Torah verse about taking a captive woman as a wife after she’s left alone for 30 days to mourn her family: “You may not touch her for 30 days. This shows the wisdom and goodness of the Torah. If it said, don’t rape women when you win a war, forget it. It’s too utopian.


“But it says, hey, we know you want beautiful women. So hold on. No problem. Just wait 30 days.


“But please. Thirty days a woman is going to sit there and you’re going to get to know her and she’s crying over her relatives, and then on the 31st day, you’re going to rape her? That’s not the way men function. It’s brilliant. Guys, no problem. You can have your beautiful booty after winning a war. Just wait a month. But get to know her. Learn that she’s a human, not just a beautiful object.”



Torah Portion Pinchas XI

I will discuss parsha Pinchas live on my cam starting at 1:15 PM PST Tuesday with Rabbi Rabbs.

Rabbi Ari Kahn writes:

 



The Reasons For Jewish Law

Luke Ford says:

In his third lecture on Deuteronomy in 2002, Dennis Prager says: “The rabbis [of the Talmud] distinguished between chukim (laws between man and God) and mishpatim (laws between man and man) as chukim are laws we can not understand and mishpatim are laws we can understand.

“There is a real problem asserting at the outset that there are laws we can not understand. If you believe that there are many laws that you can not understand, then you will never seek to understand them. That ends intellectual inquiry into their purpose.

“I grew up in the world that learned this way. It was the most difficult aspect of the thinking of the Judaism I was raised in, that there were laws I can never understand. There may well be, but to declare it at the outset means that it is pointless to try to understand.

“That leads to some terrible consequences — to an unintellectual observance of rules.

“For example, the law in Judaism of how you slaughter an animal. You take a blade that is extremely sharp, can not have any nick in it, and you have to be able to slice the animal’s throat in one cut across the neck.

“Everybody I know understands this as a way to minimize the animal’s suffering. Presumably the shochet (slaughterer) does it quickly.

“I was explaining this to a group in Halifax, Nova Scotia, about 25 years ago.

“In the audience was a newly ordained Orthodox rabbi who was trying out for his first pulpit.

“After I spoke about this, he politely raised his hand and said, ‘I disagree with Mr. Prager. We do not know why Jewish law ordains a sharp knife without a nick in it. He proclaims that it is to reduce the animal’s suffering but we don’t know that. The proof is that under Jewish law I can take a very long time in the speed with which I cut the animal’s throat, and then the animal will suffer.’

“I wanted to punch him. It was so painful to hear this was what he believed and this is what he was telling Jews, none of whom kept kosher.

“I believe you have to do things because God said so, but even if God said so, why did God give me a brain if not to understand why he said so?”



Torah Portion Pinchas IX

I will discuss parsha Pinchas live on my cam starting at 1:15 PM PST Tuesday with Rabbi Rabbs.

Rabbi Ari Kahn writes:

 



Torah Portion Pinchas X

I will discuss parsha Pinchas live on my cam starting at 1:15 PM PST Tuesday with Rabbi Rabbs.

Rabbi Ari Kahn writes:

 



Torah Portion Pinchas V

I will discuss parsha Pinchas live on my cam starting at 1:15 PM PST Tuesday with Rabbi Rabbs.

Rabbi Ari Kahn writes:

 



Torah Portion Pinchas VIII

I will discuss parsha Pinchas live on my cam starting at 1:15 PM PST Tuesday with Rabbi Rabbs.

Rabbi Ari Kahn writes:

 



Torah Portion Pinchas VII

I will discuss parsha Pinchas live on my cam starting at 1:15 PM PST Tuesday with Rabbi Rabbs.

Rabbi Ari Kahn writes:

 



Torah Portion Pinchas VI

I will discuss parsha Pinchas live on my cam starting at 1:15 PM PST Tuesday with Rabbi Rabbs.

Rabbi Ari Kahn writes:

 



Torah Portion Pinchas III

I will discuss parsha Pinchas live on my cam starting at 1:15 PM PST Tuesday with Rabbi Rabbs.

Rabbi Ari Kahn writes:

 



Torah Portion Pinchas IV

I will discuss parsha Pinchas live on my cam starting at 1:15 PM PST Tuesday with Rabbi Rabbs.

Rabbi Ari Kahn writes:

 



Torah Portion Pinchas II

I will discuss parsha Pinchas live on my cam starting at 1:15 PM PST Tuesday with Rabbi Rabbs.

Rabbi Ari Kahn writes:

 



Torah Portion Pinchas

I will discuss parsha Pinchas live on my cam starting at 1:15 PM PST Tuesday with Rabbi Rabbs.

Rabbi Ari Kahn writes:

Sometimes, biblical stories are complex or densely and intricately woven; other times, the storyline seems straightforward, morally unequivocal, simple stuff: right and wrong, good and bad. One such seemingly open and shut case is the killing of Zimri at the hands of Pinchas. While pacifists might decry the taking of a life, in this case a moral outrage was spreading in the camp – wanton, orgiastic debauches and idolatry. Zimri, a leader of the tribe of Shimon, publicly takes Kozbi, a willing participant from the daughters of Midian. The transgression is flagrant and unmistakable, brazen and unabashed. Pinchas steps in to end the disgrace, to halt the epidemic by means of the sword. The reward he is given leaves little room for doubt: Pinchas is good, Zimri is bad. Pinchas is right, Zimri is wrong. In fact, Jewish tradition sees these two as archetypes of good and evil; the Talmud’s expression for the epitome of hypocrisy is “one who acts like Zimri and expects the reward of Pinchas.”



Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Tainted Chinese Drywall IV

Read on:

My February interview with Mike Foreman of constructionguru.com.

I talk to Mike Friday afternoon, June 18, 2010.

 

"We're exceeding the guidelines.

"My clients get a completed operations insurance policy that states that if anything associated with Chinese drywall comes back, then you've got a policy that will cover you for it and you won't have to spend any more money to pay for it.

"Now let's get on to the savings and benefits coming out from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. I think it is great that Fannie and Freddie are giving six month loan moratoriums on loan payments to people with Chinese drywall.

"What does that mean? We're adding six months worth of payments to the back-end of your loan. All this does for the regular consumer is to give them a little more money to pay their regular bills.

"A standard 2,000 square foot house runs $60,000 – $70,000 to abate and correct. The standard payment for such a house is about $1500 a month. Times six equals $9,000. That's not the money they need to fix the house. It gets them out of the house but now they have to rent a place to live while the house is being fixed. That's a good concept. But none of these people have the money necessary to fix their house.



Tainted Chinese Drywall III

Read on:

My February interview with Mike Foreman of constructionguru.com.

I talk to Mike Friday afternoon, June 18, 2010.

 

"My company has come up with a protocol where we're getting down to less than one part per billion. There's no such thing as zero in the real world of construction.

"In our system, we're able to treat the cabinets and to re-install them. We're able to treat the tile, stone, hard floor surfaces in place and solve the problem. We can treat pre-engineered, pre-finished wood floors in place so you don't have to rip them out."

"Judge Fallon is a great guy and he's done a lot of good things for the Chinese drywall class action lawsuits, but I don't see any money coming out of it so far to off-set the costs for the consumer. The Virginia Seven as we call them got a $2.6 billion judgment against the Chinese drywall manufacturer. They've yet to collect a dime. It's now in the appeal process. The consumer is still out on the limb because they have no money to fix the problem."

"The product I'm talking is Abisso Cleanse. I don't own the company. I don't have anything to do with the company except that we inspect them and they do a great job.

"They'll be the first to tell you that I am hard to deal with. I made them do a lot of things they don't normally do because I want my clients to have an excess of what the local agencies are calling for. The Consumer Product Safety commission has come up with interim guidelines. Interim means we're still working on it.



Tainted Chinese Drywall V

Read on:

My February interview with Mike Foreman of constructionguru.com.

I talk to Mike Friday afternoon, June 18, 2010.

 

"The government needs to come up with a loan program or they need to tell the lenders to refinance that loan, include the six-month moratorium, include the funding required to correct the house, and then lower the interest rate so it comes out to be the same payment people had originally or less.

"A program like that would answer a lot of the issues coming out of this. And if there's a settlement to the class-action lawsuit and these people get money, then they can have an agreement that that money goes straight to the principle and pays off that part of the loan.

"The judgments that these people got against the Chinese manufacturers are just judgments. They're not checks. They're getting appealed and dragged out. Meanwhile, the consumer is getting hung out to dry. The consumer is being told to spend your savings, do whatever is necessary, and we'll take care of you later. And if later never comes, where are they?"



Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Luke Ford's Torah - Balak XIII

Luke Ford says:

Join the fun.

I’m studying this week’s Torah portion — Balak.

I wonder if I would’ve participated in the cult of Baal-peor for my fair share of those hot Midianite women. I know you think I’m so holy, but I’m only flesh and blood. I have many of the same impulses that you do, only mine are bigger.

Read On



Luke Ford's Torah - Balak IX

Luke Ford says:

Join the fun.

I’m studying this week’s Torah portion — Balak.

I wonder if I would’ve participated in the cult of Baal-peor for my fair share of those hot Midianite women. I know you think I’m so holy, but I’m only flesh and blood. I have many of the same impulses that you do, only mine are bigger.

Read On



Luke Ford's Torah - Balak XI

Luke Ford says:

Join the fun.

I’m studying this week’s Torah portion — Balak.



Luke Ford's Torah - Balak X

Luke Ford says:

Join the fun.

I’m studying this week’s Torah portion — Balak.



Luke Ford's Torah - Balak VII

Luke Ford says:

I’m studying this week’s Torah portion — Balak.

Read On



Luke Ford's Torah - Balak VI

Luke Ford says:

I’m studying this week’s Torah portion — Balak.



Luke Ford's Torah - Balak VIII

Luke Ford says:

Join the fun.

I’m studying this week’s Torah portion — Balak.

I wonder if I would’ve participated in the cult of Baal-peor for my fair share of those hot Midianite women. I know you think I’m so holy, but I’m only flesh and blood. I have many of the same impulses that you do, only mine are bigger.

Read On



Luke Ford's Torah - Balak III

Luke Ford says:

Join the fun.

In the morning, Balaam saddled his donkey and departed with the dignitaries, but God was incensed at his going and placed an angel in Balaam’s way. (Numbers 22:21–22.) When the donkey saw the angel standing in the way holding his drawn sword, the donkey swerved from the road into the fields, and Balaam beat the ass to turn her back onto the road. (Numbers 22:23.) The angel then stationed himself in a lane with a fence on either side. (Numbers 22:24.) Seeing the angel, the donkey pressed herself and Balaam’s foot against the wall, so he beat her again. (Numbers 22:25.) The angel then stationed himself on a narrow spot that allowed no room to swerve right or left, and the donkey lay down under Balaam, and Balaam became furious and beat the ass with his stick. (Numbers 22:26–27.) Then God allowed the donkey to speak, and she complained to Balaam. (Numbers 22:28–30.) And then God allowed Balaam to see the angel, and Balaam bowed down to the ground. (Numbers 22:31.) The angel questioned Balaam for beating his donkey, noting that she had saved Balaam’s life. (Numbers 22:32–33.) Balaam admitted his error and offered to turn back if the angel still disapproved. (Numbers 22:34.) But the angel told Balaam: “Go with the men. But you must say nothing except what I tell you.” So Balaam went on. (Numbers 22:35.)

Read On



Luke Ford's Torah - Balak IV

Luke Ford says:

Join the fun.

Balak

son of Zippor,

king

of

Moab

, grew alarmed at the

Israelites

’ military victories among the

Amorites

. (

Numbers 22:2–4.

) He consulted with the elders of

Midian

and sent elders of Moab and Midian to the land by the

Euphrates

to invite the

prophet Balaam

to come and curse the Israelites for him. (

Numbers 22:4–7.

) Balaam told them: “Spend the night here, and I shall reply to you as the Lord may instruct me.” (

Numbers 22:8.

)

God

came to Balaam and said: “You must not curse that people, for they are blessed.” (

Numbers 22:9–12.

) In the morning, Balaam asked Balak’s dignitaries to leave, as God would not let him go with them, and they left and reported Balaam’s answer to Balak. (

Numbers 22:13–14.

) Then Balak sent more numerous and distinguished dignitaries, who offered Balaam rich rewards in return for damning the Israelites. (

Numbers 22:15–17.

) But Balaam replied: “Though Balak were to give me his house full of

silver

and

gold

, I could not do anything, big or little, contrary to the command of the Lord my God.” (

Numbers 22:18.

) Nonetheless, Balaam invited the dignitaries to stay overnight to let Balaam find out what else God might say to him, and that night God told Balaam: “If these men have come to invite you, you may go with them.” (

Numbers 22:19–20.

)

Read On



Luke Ford's Torah - Balak II

Luke Ford says:

Join the fun.

Balak (בָּלָק — Hebrew for “Balak,” a name, the second word, and the first distinctive word, in the parshah) is the 40th weekly Torah portion (parshah) in the annual Jewish cycle of Torah reading and the seventh in the book of Numbers. It constitutes Numbers 22:2–25:9. Jews in the Diaspora generally read it in late June or July.

The lunisolar Hebrew calendar contains up to 55 weeks, the exact number varying among years. In most years (for example, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, and 2015 ), parshah Balak is read separately. In some years (for example, 2009), parshah Balak is combined with the previous parshah, Chukat, to help achieve the appropriate number of weekly readings.

Read On



Luke Ford's Torah - Balak

Luke Ford says:

Join the fun.

 

I’m studying this week’s Torah portion — Balak.

I wonder if I would’ve participated in the cult of Baal-peor for my fair share of those hot Midianite women. I know you think I’m so holy, but I’m only flesh and blood. I have many of the same impulses that you do, only mine are bigger.

Oy, if I had too been stuck in a place called Shittim, who knows what would’ve happened.

I wonder if AIDS could’ve been stopped by 1979 if somebody had followed Pinchas’s example and driven a spear through that Canadian flight attendant and one of his early partners.

Jodi, who I went to 6-8th grade with at PUC Elementary School, posts to my Facebook: “What is all that?????All i remember was when we were in school you ate ants off the window Lol”

 

Read On



Friday, June 11, 2010

Exxxit: Life After P*** IV

Luke Ford says:

2:45. Sunset 5. I see myself on the big screen for the first time in the new documentary Exxxit.



Exxxit: Life After P***

Luke Ford says:


2:45. Sunset 5. I see myself on the big screen for the first time in the new documentary Exxxit.


I’m shocked by my beard. I look big and ugly.


Asia Carrera has gained 40 pounds. “We don’t get TV in this house. We each have our own computers. My kids are two and three. My little girl (3yo) is super-smart. She can use Photoshop, Word. She can read and write. I live in the desert [in Utah] where I don’t know anybody.”


Tyffany Million is a private investigator and bounty hunter.


The women (Mary Carey, Seka, Houston, Shelley Lubben, Amber Lynn) look haggard in this movie while the guys (Richard Pacheco, Randy West, John Leslie) look good. It reminds of the old saw that with every conquest, a man blooms, while with every new lover, a woman loses a petal off her rose.


Raylene, the former Vivid girl, is shown working as a real estate agent: “It took me a year after leaving until I got serious about studying. It took me three times to pass the [real estate license] test but here I am. I’ve been doing it for five years.”


Read On



Exxxit: Life After P*** III

Luke Ford says:

2:45. Sunset 5. I see myself on the big screen for the first time in the new documentary Exxxit.

Read On



Exxxit: Life After P*** II

Luke Ford says:

Randy West says he wishes he had a wife and kids “but nobody gets everything.”

After sleeping with about 3,000 women in his life, he now lives alone.

Houston: “I had a labiaplasty long before most women knew you could get your labia lips trimmed. When I did that, it was a no-brainer. I was going to take the trimmings and encase them with lucite and sell it.”

“When the stock market went kaput, I lost almost all of my savings.”

Bill Margold: “What we give them in the adult entertainment industry for a brief shining moment is immortality, validation and credibility. Everyone of us wants to be recognized. When you went to the conventions, they lined up at your booths for autographs like you were professional athletes.”

Crissy Moran: “When I got into the business, a lot of people told me, you don’t look quite comfortable. I think it was the innocence that attracted a lot of my fans. I didn’t look comfortable in anything I did. Even if I was speaking, I didn’t look confident. I wasn’t very verbal. I just started feeling really depressed about it. I hit rock bottom emotionally. I went into the bathroom and threw a glass on the ground and then, crying, I fell to the ground and started cutting myself with the glass and blood started flowing everywhere. I had lost hope.”

“I didn’t have anybody who said, ‘You’re better than that.’”

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer XV

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

Read On



Thursday, June 10, 2010

Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer XIII

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer XIV

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer VIII

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

“I didn’t do real well when I was in classes. I’d be stuck listening to somebody speak for an hour. Everybody would be taking notes. I couldn’t pay attention. When someone talks to me, I start taking on their voice and start memorizing their things and at the end of the hour, everybody else is discussing the content and Rabbs has the person down pat and can do an impression of them. I’m convinced that at the end of the interview, I can do for you.

“You’re going to be blown away by the things I saw and I’m going to be walking around all night doing your voice.”

Luke: “Have you ever had psycho-therapy?”

Rabbi: “I’ve spent half of my life on the couch. I’ve been inside the offices of at least a dozen therapists, psychiatrists, counselors. I’ve been on meds. I’ve had group therapy. I’ve had the works. And you know what? It’s all a crock. None of it did jack for me. I have a psych degree. I was accepted at Pepperdine University for graduate school. I was going to get an MFC degree but I bailed.”

Luke: “Did you ever get to nail any of your mental health professionals?”

Rabbi: “What do you mean?”

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer VII

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

“Comedians tend to come from a very tragic abnormal sorry-ass life. I think it was Shakespeare who said that from the greatest tragedies come the greatest comedy. I’ve led a very tragic life. As a result, I became a comedian.

“I’ve been around a lot of comedians for the past decade and all of them have one thing in common — they’re all misfits and they all had a screwed-up childhood.”

“For me, normal English language is every fourth word is a curse word… I was screamed at and cussed at and humiliated every way you can imagine from the time I was born until I got out of the house. I ran away at 16. The dumbest thing I ever did was to come back. Telling somebody to go back to a situation like that is like saying, ‘Hey, get on the trains and go to the camps. Auschwitz is a good place to do picnic dinners.’

“There’s a reason why someone runs away from home and that has to be explored. You don’t just send a person back.

“At 18, I was out.”

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer XII

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer XI

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer X

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

“Growing up, I was a loser. Probably still am a loser. I’ve always been the loser. I had a really bad childhood. I had a lot of problems in my house, growing up with my family.

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer VIII

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer VI

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

Luke: “How are you doing so far?”

Rabbi: “Here with you? I’m doing great. This I can handle because it’s not really real. There’s an air of not realness to this. But if you want to hang out and do dinner and do stuff tonight, I’d get really nervous. I put up walls.”

“I didn’t do real well when I was in classes. I’d be stuck listening to somebody speak for an hour. Everybody would be taking notes. I couldn’t pay attention. When someone talks to me, I start taking on their voice and start memorizing their things and at the end of the hour, everybody else is discussing the content and Rabbs has the person down pat and can do an impression of them. I’m convinced that at the end of the interview, I can do for you.

“You’re going to be blown away by the things I saw and I’m going to be walking around all night doing your voice.”

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer V

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

Luke: “This may be just me, but I’ve always thought the hottest thing would be to sleep with your therapist.”

Rabbi: “No, I never did.”

Luke: “Why did you keep doing it for years?”

Rabbi: “I thought I was addicted. They’re really good at addicting people. There was the hope that this would somehow change me and I’d be able to stand up to people. One of the things I always daven for is to stand up to people who pick on me. I never do. I suck at that. I grew up in a house and there’s no overcoming it. I can’t stand up to my dad or to anyone who has a personality like him. You can lay on a couch for a decade and it’s not going to help. If you grew up with that and it’s driven into your soul, you’re stamped.”

“I don’t want kids. I’d be a terrible parent just like my parents.”

“I am strongly against child abuse. That’s my big ticket item.”

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer III

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

“At one point, I really wanted to be a comedian. My dream was to perform at the world famous comedy store in Hollywood. It was for 21 and over. I couldn’t go. They opened up one in Westwood. It was for 18 and over. It’s since closed.

“They had an amateur night. Anybody could go on stage for three minutes. All my friends were like, ‘Rabbs, you’re really funny. You should do this.’

“I went down there. I had my name on the list. I was 18. Right before I was called up on stage, and I looked at the crowd and it looked like a hard room to play, and I said to the manager, ‘Get me off that list!’

“I completely chickened out. I shelved the whole idea.

“When I turned 21, I went to the Comedy Store in Hollywood.

“Fast forward a couple of decades and I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I said, I want to try this again. I can’t die and never know what would have happened if I had gone into comedy. I could’ve been something.

“And I tried it and I started performing live. In less than a year, I was invited to perform at the Comedy Store. I was a regular… The first time I stepped on stage at the world famous Comedy Store was the greatest moment of my life because I had gone full circle.”

Read On



Rabbi Hershel Rabbs Remer II

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

“Growing up, I was a loser. Probably still am a loser. I’ve always been the loser. I had a really bad childhood. I had a lot of problems in my house, growing up with my family. Little kids have a real way of pinpointing who’s got problems and then they compound those problems by picking on those kids. I was the kid who was picked on. And it’s always the kid who was picked on who later in life goes ballistic and kills everyone. So look out world!

“I was that kid. I became very introverted. I was a loner. I didn’t have a lot of friends. I spent a lot of time alone. My cat was like my best friend and then my cat died.

“Comedians tend to come from a very tragic abnormal sorry-ass life. I think it was Shakespeare who said that from the greatest tragedies come the greatest comedy. I’ve led a tragic life.

Read On



Where Are The Orthodox?

Luke Ford says:


Here’s an analogy that comes to mind. A group of terrorists say you Jews have no right to live in this neighborhood. To prove it, they’re going to walk all over your property next Tuesday night. You have good reason to believe that they will bring weapons as their peers have tried to kill you before. When they arrive on Tuesday night, you are armed. You warn them that you will stop them by any means necessary from trespassing on your property. They trespass anyway and begin to lynch your family. In response, you kill nine of them.


Rabbi Brous writes about “a tragic narrowing of the American Jewish heart and mind.”


I can’t think of any Jewish leader who’s announced pride in the killing of the nine Turkey-backed activists. What Jews and Christians who care about Israel have united on is their stand against the worldwide condemnation of Israel’s right to exist and to defend itself.


I didn’t hear anyone at the parade on Sunday say they thought the killings of the nine Muslim activists were great. What I picked up from the crowd and the speakers was that Israel has a right to defend itself, even when it sometimes acts in a clumsy way.


Rabbi Sharon Brous can name no examples of placards or speakers on Sunday glorifying in the killing of the nine Muslims.


Read On



Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer

Luke Ford says:

Rabbi Hershel “Rabbs” Remer a comichas spent most of his life in Los Angeles. (R. Rabbs YouTube)

Luke: “When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?”

Rabbi: “I wanted to have my own web cam equipment so that I could interview people.”

“At one point, I really wanted to be a comedian. My dream was to perform at the world famous comedy store in Hollywood. It was for 21 and over. I couldn’t go. They opened up one in Westwood. It was for 18 and over. It’s since closed.

“They had an amateur night.

Read On



Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I'm Losing My Life To Distractions

Luke Ford says:

This article rings true to me.

I find I’ve become addicted to the thrill of email. I check mine way too much.

I got a Blackberry two years ago so I could check my email anywhere.

I have friends who spend hours a day on Facebook, creating fake profiles so they can track the ex-girlfriends of their boyfriend.

What saves me is the Sabbath when I turn off my computer and cell phone.

Alexander Technique also helps me to be more present. And therapy. And good friends. When I’m with them, I don’t yearn so much to check my email.

I grew up a Seventh-Day Adventist, where I got lots of warnings about the distracting and negative power of television and rock music.

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My YouTube Videos Have Over 3 Million Views

Luke Ford says:

Whoa. Over three million.

Join the crowd.

I started posting videos online when I bought my first video camera in January 2007. Over the next few months, I earned about $700 from posting videos to Revver.com, until that site stopped paying out.

I always link up my videos to my stories. It’s a good way of driving traffic to my website.

People process information differently. Some people prefer to hear things, others to see things, and others to read things.

Read On



When My Body Gives Me Away

Luke Ford says:

I was just washing my hands before taking up the sacred task of blogging.



I looked into the mirror and saw a thumping under my left eye. Thump, thump, thump. Who knew I had a pulse under my left eye?



I think of myself as cool, calm and collected. I am Your Moral Leader. I am not supposed to be susceptible to the typical emotions that plague mortals.



Yet here I sit at my computer and there's an involuntary thumping under my left eye.



I hate that!

Read On



Helen Thomas Resigns

Luke Ford says:

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager says: “I’ve never liked Helen Thomas but I’ve never bothered spending time about her. She was always this far-left voice in the press corps. She was tolerated because of her age and being in the press corp so long. What she said is truly beyond the pale.”

“This is one of the rare cases where I think resignation is appropriation. I have a broad tolerance for people making all sorts of comments. I so deeply believe in liberty. This is advocacy of annihilation of a country. If this isn’t beyond the pale, then nothing is.

“What if a reporter said that all the blacks should go back to Africa, go back to where they came from? What would the reaction be like in this country? It would be horrific.

“There was this sports announcer many years ago [Jimmy the Greek Snyder] who said that blacks have greater innate abilities.

Read On



When My Body Gives Me Away II

Luke Ford says:

Oy, and then there were all those times in grade school when I had such a massive erection, I could not get up from my desk without giving myself away (not too much that the pooling of blood in my nether regions would probably have caused me to faint).

Oy, I'm remembering my first love. It was the summer of 1982. We were frolicking in the Pacific Union College pool in Angwin, CA.

This little black boy with a swimming mask surfaced and said to me in front of my beloved, "Why is your penis sticking out like a lance?"

Read On

 



Monday, June 7, 2010

Tears For Fears

Luke Ford says:

* There was this girl in fifth grade (Avondale College Primary School) who liked me. I couldn’t stand it so I tortured her. I used to leave tacks on her chair.

When she sat down, she’d scream and start crying.

On other occasions, I’d kick her.

One day she said to me, “One day you too will love someone who’ll kick you.”

* I was going to a singles lunch at my Orthodox shul in 2002. We had to introduce ourselves by saying two things we love.

“I love sarcasm and irony,” I said.

“That will really make people want to be close to you,” said my therapist later.

Read On



Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Luke Ford says:

1:20 p.m. I change my shirt to the long-sleeved grey one. Then on with the blue jeans.

I slop on some sun screen. I rub it all over my face and then around the back of my neck. Am I becoming a metrosexual? Oy vey.

I’ll go to the Israel rally early. Find parking. I could walk but it’s hot out and I’m tired.

This will be my first journey out of the hovel on a weekend since my Loma Linda trip May 14-15.

I find a spot in the shade. I check my cell phone. No calls and no emails since I left the house eight minutes ago.

Nobody cares.

I pick up The Mythmaker: Paul and the Invention of Christianity by Hyam Maccoby.

Read On



George Eliot's Middlemarch

Luke Ford says:

I’m near the end of this novel.

A few weeks ago, I saw the BBC miniseries.

I’m struck by the shunning delivered to one of the major characters in the novel when it is discovered that he came by his money dishonorably.

The moral standards and preoccupations displayed in this Christian 19th Century novel put much of the Orthodox Judaism I know today to shame.

There’s far less moral flexibility and the turning of a blind eye towards wrongdoing in Middlemarch than in Pico-Robertson.

It’s enough to make me believe in the decline of the generations (that every generation since Mount Sinai is less upright).

Read On



Saturday, June 5, 2010

Fired Being Too Hot?

Luke Ford says:

Dennis Prager says she was not fired for being too attractive. The bank fired her for dressing too provocatively. If she did dress immodestly and would not stop dressing immodestly, Dennis said he defended the bank’s actions.

Dennis said he did not find the clothing she wore in the recent news photos (in the New York Daily News) as too provocative.

“No woman has ever been fired for being too attractive,” said Prager.

The provocative photos at the bottom here come from the Village Voice.

Beth posts: “If those pics are examples of her workplace attire, they were right to fire her. Banks are notoriously conservative places to work. Our skirts couldn’t be shorter than one inch above the knee, and the concept of “work cleavage”?Forget about it. Twice I was spoken to about my attire, and it was way more conservative than this lady’s. Pencil skirts and stilettos can be normal business attire or they can be slutty, depending how they’re worn.”

Report:

NEW YORK: It is not a crime to be attractive or dress in well-cut business suits, but if you ask Debrahlee Lorenzana, 33, either can cost you your job. She claims in court papers that she was forced out of her $70,000-a-year Manhattan Citibank job because her male managers found her a “distraction”.

Read On



The Light In Her Eyes

Luke Ford says:


The sweetest sight in the world to me is the light in her eyes.






When she lights up, when she looks at me and her eyes shine, I feel deeply happy.






When she looks at me and her eyes are dead, then I feel sad.






I'll admit it. I want to see the light in her eyes. I don't feel like a man until my vision for myself is reflected in her eyes.






When I have the rapt attention of a beautiful young woman, I feel drunk.






I wonder what puts it in her eyes and I wonder what takes it away.






I'm 44. Many beautiful women have shined their eyes at me. But it's never lasted long.


Read On



Committed: Men, Women, Marriage

Luke Ford says:

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote the bestseller Eat, Pray, Love.

In her new book Committed, she writes on page 55:

…the Old Testament is such a family-centric, stranger abhorring, genealogical extravaganza… the driving narrative always concerns the progress and tribulations of the bloodline…

But the New Testament — which is to say, the arrival of Jesus Christ — invalidated all those old family loyalties to a degree that was truly socially revolutionary. Instead of perpetuating the tribal notion of “the chosen people against the world,” Jesus…taught that we are all chosen people, that we are all brothers and sisters united within one human family. Now, this was an utterly radical idea that could never possibly fly in a traditional tribal system. You cannot embrace a stranger as your brother, after all, unless you are willing to renounce your real biological brother, thus capsizing an ancient code that binds you in sacred obligation to your blood relatives while setting you in auto-opposition to the unclean outsider.

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Men, Women, Marriage

Luke Ford says:

Elizabeth Gilbert writes:

Married men live longer than single men; married men accumulate more wealth than single men; married men excel at their careers above single men; married men are far less likely to die a violent death than single men; married men report themselves to be much happier than single men; and married men suffer less from alcoholism, drug addiction, and depression than do single men….

There doesn’t seem to be anything, statistically speaking, that a man does not gain by getting married.

Dishearteningly, the reverse is not true. Modern married women do not fare better in life than their single counterparts. Married women in America do not live longer than single women; married women do not accumulate as much wealth as single women…; married women do not thrive on their careers to the extent single women do… [blah blah] less healthy… [yadda yadda] depression… [yadda blah] violent death…statistically speaking, the most dangerous person in the average woman’s life is her own man.

Read On



Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach Vs. Dennis Prager

Luke Ford says:

This was recorded during Thanksgiving, 2009.

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach: “Values are not just abortion and gay marriage.”

Dennis Prager: “Those are very huge.”

Shmuley: “Values are family values. Keeping families together is the main thing. I don’t see where gays come into it. I think it’s a bogeyman.”

Dennis: “Whether marriage is redefined is a bogeyman? Whether girls will be raised to marry a man or a woman?”

Shmuley: “That can not compare to the disintegration of the family in our time. That’s why Christian pastors such as Rick Warren and Joel Olsteen don’t even get involved in this issue anymore. They don’t touch it.”

Dennis: “They’re worthless. They are Deepok Chopras of Christianity. They say nothing. They are meaningless popularizers who say nothing.”

Read On



I Was A Teenage Dirtbag

Luke Ford says:

I knew a boy named Luke Ford. I had the misfortune of being close to him.

My name is Amber*. Because I’m nice, I was always seated next to Luke Ford at Jewish journalism events. People thought I could control him.

Fat chance. Like trying to control the devil.

I met Luke Ford in a Jewish journalism laboratory.

He was my lab partner. We were assigned the complete works of Thane Rosenbaum. It was disgusting but we had to do it to graduate from yeshiva. We worked for a week cutting up this fetal pig.

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Who Lost Turkey?

Luke Ford says:


Over the past five years, Turkey, which has the second biggest army in NATO, has moved from an ally of the West to an ally of Iran.


I guess Turkey, along with more and more of the world, is aligning with Iran because they see more advantages to do that than to align with the United States.


Under Barack Obama, the U.S. beats up on its friends (Israel, England, etc) and sucks up to its enemies (Iran and much of the Islamic world).


Turkey has been part of NATO since its inception. Now it has a radical Islamic party in power. It’s trying to dismantle secular parts of Turkey and place the country in bed with Iran.


It was Turks that attacked the Israeli soldiers on the flotilla Monday.


Read On



When Did I Become Israel's Ambassador?

Luke Ford says:

As I walked around today in my yarmulke and tzitzit out, I knew that I’d get challenges about Israel killing ten people on that aid flotilla to Gaza.

Non-Jews in my life were gentle but this was on their minds and I represent Israel to them.

So many Jews tell me that wearing a beard is not important. Not required by Jewish law (that’s true, but it is certainly the preferred state for Jewish men). Go clean-shaven and fit in, modern Jews tell me. Well, the goyim certainly understand what is an intensely Jewish appearance and they respond accordingly. In America, non-Jews have more respect for Jewish Jews than goyish Jews and they feel more comfortable with us when we are authentic to our traditions, including wearing a beard, than when we try to blend in.

When I had a beard and belonged to a Modern Orthodox shul, the non-Jewish Mexican cleaning lady asked a friend of mine at shul why the rabbi (me!) didn’t go up front to preach. Our rabbis (and 99% of the male congregation) were clean-shaven.

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Obliterating Differences Between Men and Women

Luke Ford says:

When I can’t figure out whether a person is male or female, it disturbs me.

I like people who are clear and forthright in their identity. I like Jews who are Jewish and Christians who are Christian and women who are womanly. I don’t like dating women who want to be men.

I prefer women who dress in skirts rather than pants. I’m a traditionalist. Men on top. Stiff upper lip. Queen and country. Advance Australia Fair.

Dennis Prager writes:

In his just-published book, “How Pleasure Works,” Yale Professor of Psychology Paul Bloom, described by Harvard psychologist Steven Pinker, as “among the deepest thinkers and clearest writers on the science of mind today,” writes:

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